Oscar Mayer’s marketing team has come a long way since the wiener song (which I still maintain is one of the best jingles ever created), and in keeping with the times, this latest cheeky foray into pop culture certainly deserves a chuckle, if not a product purchase. Once you download the app, you’re given the opportunity to bare your soul via a deeply personal bacon questionnaire, in which you must make life-altering decisions like whether you’d rather have pork or turkey bacon, or if you prefer crispy bacon to chewy bacon. Take your time with this inquiries, kids — after all, they reveal some pretty telling character traits, as everyone knows that bacon is the window into one’s soul.
“In love, as it is in bacon, it’s important to be discerning when selecting your perfect match and to never settle for less than the best,” said Eric Dahmer, Oscar Mayer’s marketing director in a statement. “We passionately cure our bacon for 12 hours, and lovingly smokehouse it for another 12, making it the true bacon for bacon lovers. With the launch of Sizzl, we’re thrilled to give our true bacon lovers the chance to find each other and potentially meet their soulmates, in life and in bacon.”
Despite all signs to the contrary, this really is a real dating app, and you really can attempt to meet your love match via a bacon-based matching service. Let’s be honest — it can’t be any worse than what’s already out there.
