Fox News prepares for lift off with its ridiculous ‘News Deck’

By Peter Soldinger October 9, 2013

fox news prepares for lift off with its ridiculous deck shepard smith

For those of you that aren’t avid Fox News viewers and weren’t tuned into to the Roger Ailes’ comedy network, you missed Shepard Smith revealing a completely refurbished studio, staffed by an army of tiny people hard at work on… What was that? Oh, I’m sorry. I’m being told now that those are normal people. It’s the touch screens they’re working on that are abnormally large. Fifty-five inches to be exact.

Smith calls it a new studio for the 21st century, the “Fox News Deck.” This makes sense considering it looks like Star Trek for old people – Star Trek: The Greatest Generation, minus the lens flares.

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These guys are the kings of gimmicks, and the News Deck is just the latest – and possibly the most hilarious.

The decision to upgrade the studio was based on the idea that viewers are no longer “linear”, which in Fox News-speak means people are on this thing called the Internet. Sure, the studio looks like a live-action remake of The Jetsons, but kudos to Fox News for embracing the trend in technology of making everything gigantic and immobile … What was that? Oh, I’m sorry again. I’m being told that is not actually a trend, it’s the opposite of the current trend.

At least with 55 inches of screen, these “information specialists” as Fox News calls them, will be able to view a mosaic of multiple screens, allowing them to monitor many resources at one time… What was that? Seriously? Sorry, folks. Apparently, those aren’t multiple screens. They’re single screens with images that are just blown up to enormous sizes for the near blind and elderly… which actually makes sense, considering the average age of the Fox News demographic.

So what’s the point? For years now, the cable news business has been way more about perception than reality, and no one plays this game better than Fox News – a network that has succeeded by defining itself as a clearly conservative alternative to its competitors, all while branding itself as “fair and balanced.” These guys are the kings of gimmicks, and the News Deck is just the latest – and possibly the most hilarious.

As its viewers either die off or are inundated by variety of sources on Internet, Fox is trying head all that pesky information off at the pass. It would like to be perceived as a curator, filtering out the noise from what’s its viewers should know. See ‘cause the network has giant screens! That means they have even more information!

Whether it works or not; whether the viewers find it all too confusing or absolutely absorbing, you can’t argue one thing: It’s the perfect set to house some of the Space Cadets who work there.

Peter Soldinger

Former Digital Trends Contributor

Peter Soldinger is a Los Angeles-based screenwriter for film and television with a passion for sports and a contentious…

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